GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS Two-thirds of countries have reported gonorrhea cases that resist all known antibiotics. Now scientists are trying to hold the line against the disease as they look for a new way to treat it. Mark King has had the clap so many times he’s renamed it ‘the applause’. The first time King had gonorrhea, he was a teenager in the late 1970s, growing up with his five siblings in Louisiana. He had the telltale signs: burning and discomfort when he urinated and a thick discharge that left a stain in his underwear. King visited a clinic and gave a fake name and phone number. He was treated quickly with antibiotics and sent on his way. A few years later, the same symptoms reappeared. By this time, the 22-year-old was living in West Hollywood, hoping to launch his acting career. While King had come out to his parents, being gay in Louisiana was poles apart from being gay in Los Angeles. For one, homosexuality was illegal in Louisiana until 2003, whereas California had legalized it in 1976. In Los Angeles there was a thriving a gay scene where King, for the first time, could embrace his sexuality freely. He frequented bathhouses and also met men in dance clubs and along the bustling sidewalks. There was lots of sex to be had. “The fact that we weren’t a fully formed culture beyond those spaces… was what brought us together as people. Sex was the only expression we had to claim ourselves as LGBT people,” King says. When he stepped into the brick clinic just a few strides away from the heart of the city’s gay nightlife in Santa Monica, King, with his thick sandy blond hair with a tinge of red through it, looked around the room. It was filled with other gay men. “What do you do when you’re 22 and gay? You cruise other men. I remember sitting in the lobby cruising other men,” King recalls, laughing. “My Summer of Love was 1982. It was a playground. I was young and on the prowl.” Like a few years earlier, the doctor gave him a handful of antibiotics to take for a few days that would clear up the infection. It wasn’t a big deal. In fact, as King describes it, it was “simply an errand to run”. “It was the price of doing business and it wasn’t a high price at all.” But it was the calm before the storm, in more ways than one. When King picked up gonorrhea again in the 1990s, he was greatly relieved that treatment was now just one dose. Penicillin was no longer effective, but ciprofloxacin was now the recommended treatment and it required only one dose. In King’s eyes, getting gonorrhea was even less of a hassle. But this was actually a symptom of treatment regimens starting to fail. The bacteria Neisseria gonorrhoeae was on the way to developing resistance to nearly every drug ever used to treat it. 40-49 previous nEXT

Importance of Partner Treatment If tests show that you have an STI, your sex partners — including your current partners and any other partners you've had over the last three months to one year — need to be informed so that they can get tested. If they're infected, they can then be treated. Each state has different requirements, but most states require that certain STIs be reported to the local or state health department. Public health departments often employ trained disease intervention specialists who can help notify partners and refer people for treatment. Official, confidential partner notification can help limit the spread of STIs, particularly for syphilis and HIV. The practice also steers those at risk toward counseling and the right treatment. And since you can contract some STIs more than once, partner notification reduces your risk of getting reinfected. Local Clinics

3 Empowering Sex Tips We Should Be Giving Young Women Like many girls, I got my first sex tips from women’s magazines. I learned how to stand to appear thinner when naked. I learned which positions put my sexiest body parts on display. I learned hundreds of ways I should touch a penis, whether I liked it or not. Sex sounded grown-up and exciting, but also scary – though I couldn’t pinpoint why. I totally see why now, though. It sounded like sex would make me an object – like once I walked through the door of a man’s (it was always presumed to be a man’s) bedroom, I’d leave my humanity on the other side of it. Actually having sex as a teenager was equally confusing. I wanted to be my partners’ hot, sexy lover and their fellow human, but it always felt like I had to pick one. When I tried to be both, they’d punish me for it. In college, after enthusiastically initiating a hookup with someone I met at a frat party, and openly enjoying it, he got behind me and air-humped me in front of his friend while I was trying to talk. It felt like his way of saying, “In case you got as much out of this as me, I’m going to make sure you still don’t leave feeling equal” – as if my comfort with the situation took the fun away from him. As if he were trying to win a game aimed at convincing me to hook up, and I wasn’t even letting him play. He’d learned it, too: that women’s role in sex was to deny or “give in to” what men wanted, not want anything themselves. (And that LGBTQIA+ people don’t exist, apparently.) I didn’t just learn this from magazines. I learned it from musicians who implicitly or explicitly referred to their sexual partners as “bitches,” “hos,” and conquests. I observed it on TV shows that existed to let men ogle naked women. I learned it from men who treated rape as “locker room” behavior. Thankfully, during college and after, I absorbed other ideas about sex and women’s role in it. Here are some of the healthier messages I got – and wish we’d all get sooner. 1. Do What You Desire, Not What You’re Just Okay With Desire was strangely absent from the sex lessons I received from adults and peers alike – or at least the desires of people other than men were absent. I learned all about men’s supposed desires. I learned men’s desires were uncontrollable. That they would try to use me to satiate them. That I had the “powerful” position of deciding if their desires would be fulfilled (if they were “nice guys” who didn’t rape, that is). In addition to erasing non-binary people, this belief system renders women incapable of consent. You can’t, after all, consent to something you don’t desire. So, until I understood that my desires mattered, sex seemed, by nature, non-consensual. No wonder it scared me. Then, in my freshmen year of college, I went to a talk about sex. And unlike other sex talks I’d attended, it didn’t reduce women to victims. “Do what you desire, not what you’re just okay with,” the speaker said. Before, I thought being okay was the most I could hope for. I thought if a guy wants to do something and you’re okay with it, it was just spiteful not to let him do it. But, as this speaker recognized, that sets you up for an unequal exchange and makes consent blurry. Instead, he suggested, say no if you’re not excited about something, and you can always change your mind. I learned another version of this advice at a cuddle party years later: “If it’s not a ‘hell yes,’ it’s a ‘no.'” By affirming people’s right to say hell yes, we help them say no when there’s no hell yes in them. And by affirming their right to say no, we make room for more hell yeses to safely come out. 2. Express What You’re Thinking – And Ask Your Partner What They’re Thinking Women’s magazines offered tips for the hottest things to say in bed, but they rarely taught me to express how I actually felt. And they also didn’t teach me how to figure out how my partners felt. Any vocalizations that happened in bed were supposed to be for the sake of a performance. Communication in the bedroom should accomplish the opposite, though: expressing what you’re truly thinking. I didn’t know it was okay to say I wanted sex, or more sex, or a different kind of sex. I didn’t know it was okay to admit the current activity was doing absolutely nothing for me. I didn’t know it was okay to say if I was in pain or to say I felt pressured into something. Those things weren’t “guaranteed to turn him on,” after all. But expressing what you’re thinking is more than okay. It should be a requirement, especially if the alternative is to be uncomfortable or unsatisfied. This also means it’s important to find out what your partners are thinking, particularly when you’re not sure what they want. Discussions of sexual violence usually paint women merely as potential victims or survivors, but we are highly capable of ignoring others’ boundaries and pressuring them. Instead of teaching women to merely compliment their partners’ sexual prowess, questions like: “Do you want this? Are you good? What do you want? Do you like that?” should be part of everyone’s vocabulary. This not only makes sex better, but it’s also vital for keeping it consensual. And no, it doesn’t “kill the mood.” In what other activity is talking to your companion considered a detraction from the fun? 3. Make Sure You’re Getting as Much Out of This as Your Partner (And Vice Versa) I put that second part in parentheses because women already know this. We’re taught it’s our job to ensure our partners are getting at least as much out of the encounter as we are. In a study on college students’ attitudes toward hookups, one woman said, “I will do everything in my power to like whoever I’m with, to get [him] off.” And here’s what another woman said of receiving pleasure in hookups: “I didn’t feel comfortable, I guess. I don’t know. I think I felt kind of guilty almost, like I felt like I was kind of subjecting [guys] to something they didn’t want to do, and I felt bad about it.” It makes sense, then, that men are more likely to receive oral sex than women during college hookups, and both teen boys and girls say oral is a bigger deal when it’s performed on a woman. I always thought I understood that I deserved as much as my partners. It seems like common sense that both people should get something equal out of every exchange, right? But like the latter student, I never expected orgasms from my sexual encounters. Since I wasn’t getting them, I assumed my body was just too difficult, even though it wasn’t difficult when I was on my own. That’s what we’re taught: “Women are harder to please. Our bodies are ‘tricky.’ Men are microwaves, while women are ovens.” (Wrongfully assuming that all women are cisgender, these statements usually attribute such differences to sexual anatomy.) Then, when we don’t get much pleasure out of sex, we think, “Welp, that’s just my body being all womanly and complicated again.” No. It’s not. It could be a number of things, like anxiety getting in the way, lack of knowledge on your or your partners’ part, or a lack of effort on their part. But it’s not the inevitable result of you being a woman. We deserve to stop resigning ourselves to “meh” sex lives, and go after what we want. The idea that we shouldn’t pursue our desires sets us back in all sorts of ways outside the bedroom. It’s time we take back our right to pleasure in all areas. What all these tips basically boil down to is: “It’s totally valid to have a sexuality, express it, and expect others to care about it.” I never cease to be amazed by how confused people are when women have a sexuality. When I talk about masturbation, porn, or anything else to even suggest I’m a sexual being, one of several things happens: People assume I’m looking to be subservient to men because I’m obviously just sexual for them. They resent me for seeking my own pleasure. They assume I’m just hypersexual and “out-there.” When people react negatively to women being sexual, what they’re really doing is reacting negatively to women being human. And when we teach women not to be sexual and just be sexy, we’re denying their humanity. Of course, women – and everyone – can be sexy if they want. But they also, unconditionally, deserve the right to be sexual, whether they’re sexy or not. I hope that one day, it’ll be normal for a woman to have a sexuality – because that’ll mean people will honor her expression of it. I also hope people abandon the cliché “women want this, men want that” model of sex and honor the sexualities of people of all different genders and sexual orientations. And I hope we can move toward that by giving everyone these alternative “sex tips.” WEBSITE

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Sex and COVID With mandatory mask wearing and physical distancing of at least six feet becoming the norm around the nation, the question remains—is sex safe? In short—it can be, but experts say any type of in-person sexual activity does carry some risk. But there are ways to have intimate contact and remain connected.

Syphilis Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can have very serious complications when left untreated, but it is simple to cure with the right treatment. What is syphilis? Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection that can cause serious health problems if it is not treated. Syphilis is divided into stages (primary, secondary, latent, and tertiary). There are different signs and symptoms associated with each stage. How is syphilis spread? You can get syphilis by direct contact with a syphilis sore during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. You can find sores on or around the penis, vagina, or anus, or in the rectum, on the lips, or in the mouth. Syphilis can spread from an infected mother to her unborn baby. What does syphilis look like? Syphilis is divided into stages (primary, secondary, latent, and tertiary), with different signs and symptoms associated with each stage. A person with primary syphilis generally has a sore or sores at the original site of infection. These sores usually occur on or around the genitals, around the anus or in the rectum, or in or around the mouth. These sores are usually (but not always) firm, round, and painless. Symptoms of secondary syphilis include skin rash, swollen lymph nodes, and fever. The signs and symptoms of primary and secondary syphilis can be mild, and they might not be noticed. During the latent stage, there are no signs or symptoms. Tertiary syphilis is associated with severe medical problems. A doctor can usually diagnose tertiary syphilis with the help of multiple tests. It can affect the heart, brain, and other organs of the body. How can I reduce my risk of getting syphilis? The only way to avoid STDs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting syphilis: Being in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested for syphilis and does not have syphilis; Using latex condoms the right way every time you have sex. Condoms prevent transmission of syphilis by preventing contact with a sore. Sometimes sores occur in areas not covered by a condom. Contact with these sores can still transmit syphilis. Am I at risk for syphilis? Any sexually active person can get syphilis through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Have an honest and open talk with your health care provider and ask whether you should be tested for syphilis or other STDs. All pregnant women should be tested for syphilis at their first prenatal visit. You should get tested regularly for syphilis if you are sexually active and are a man who has sex with men; are living with HIV; or have partner(s) who have tested positive for syphilis. I’m pregnant. How does syphilis affect my baby? If you are pregnant and have syphilis, you can give the infection to your unborn baby. Having syphilis can lead to a low birth weight baby. It can also make it more likely you will deliver your baby too early or stillborn (a baby born dead). To protect your baby, you should be tested for syphilis at least once during your pregnancy. Receive immediate treatment if you test positive. An infected baby may be born without signs or symptoms of disease. However, if not treated immediately, the baby may develop serious problems within a few weeks. Untreated babies can have health problems such as cataracts, deafness, or seizures, and can die. What are the signs and symptoms of syphilis? Symptoms of syphilis in adults vary by stage: Primary Stage During the first (primary) stage of syphilis, you may notice a single sore or multiple sores. The sore is the location where syphilis entered your body. Sores are usually (but not always) firm, round, and painless. Because the sore is painless, it can easily go unnoticed. The sore usually lasts 3 to 6 weeks and heals regardless of whether or not you receive treatment. Even after the sore goes away, you must still receive treatment. This will stop your infection from moving to the secondary stage. Secondary Stage During the secondary stage, you may have skin rashes and/or mucous membrane lesions. Mucous membrane lesions are sores in your mouth, vagina, or anus. This stage usually starts with a rash on one or more areas of your body. The rash can show up when your primary sore is healing or several weeks after the sore has healed. The rash can look like rough, red, or reddish brown spots on the palms of your hands and/or the bottoms of your feet. The rash usually won’t itch and it is sometimes so faint that you won’t notice it. Other symptoms you may have can include fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, and fatigue (feeling very tired). The symptoms from this stage will go away whether or not you receive treatment. Without the right treatment, your infection will move to the latent and possibly tertiary stages of syphilis. Latent Stage The latent stage of syphilis is a period of time when there are no visible signs or symptoms of syphilis. If you do not receive treatment, you can continue to have syphilis in your body for years without any signs or symptoms. Tertiary Stage Most people with untreated syphilis do not develop tertiary syphilis. However, when it does happen it can affect many different organ systems. These include the heart and blood vessels, and the brain and nervous system. Tertiary syphilis is very serious and would occur 10–30 years after your infection began. In tertiary syphilis, the disease damages your internal organs and can result in death. Neurosyphilis and Ocular Syphilis Without treatment, syphilis can spread to the brain and nervous system (neurosyphilis) or to the eye (ocular syphilis). This can happen during any of the stages described above. Symptoms of neurosyphilis include: severe headache; difficulty coordinating muscle movements; paralysis (not able to move certain parts of your body); numbness; and dementia (mental disorder). Symptoms of ocular syphilis include changes in your vision and even blindness. How will I or my doctor know if I have syphilis? Most of the time, a blood test is used to test for syphilis. Some health care providers will diagnose syphilis by testing fluid from a syphilis sore. Can syphilis be cured? Yes, syphilis can be cured with the right antibiotics from your healthcare provider. However, treatment might not undo any damage that the infection has already done. I’ve been treated. Can I get syphilis again? Having syphilis once does not protect you from getting it again. Even after you’ve been successfully treated, you can still be re-infected. Only laboratory tests can confirm whether you have syphilis. Follow-up testing by your healthcare provider is recommended to make sure that your treatment was successful. It may not be obvious that a sex partner has syphilis. This is because syphilis sores can be hidden in the vagina, anus, under the foreskin of the penis, or in the mouth. Unless you know that your sex partner(s) has been tested and treated, you may be at risk of getting syphilis again from an infected sex partner. < Previous Next > ​

Trichomoniasis Most people who have trichomoniasis do not have any symptoms. What is trichomoniasis? Trichomoniasis (or “trich”) is a very common sexually transmitted disease (STD). It is caused by infection with a protozoan parasite called Trichomonas vaginalis. Although symptoms of the disease vary, most people who have the parasite cannot tell they are infected. How common is trichomoniasis? Trichomoniasis is the most common curable STI. In the United States, an estimated 3.7 million people have the infection. However, only about 30% develop any symptoms of trichomoniasis. Infection is more common in women than in men. Older women are more likely than younger women to have been infected with trichomoniasis. How do people get trichomoniasis? The parasite passes from an infected person to an uninfected person during sex. In women, the most commonly infected part of the body is the lower genital tract (vulva, vagina, cervix, or urethra). In men, the most commonly infected body part is the inside of the penis (urethra). During sex, the parasite usually spreads from a penis to a vagina, or from a vagina to a penis. It can also spread from a vagina to another vagina. It is not common for the parasite to infect other body parts, like the hands, mouth, or anus. It is unclear why some people with the infection get symptoms while others do not. It probably depends on factors like a person’s age and overall health. Infected people without symptoms can still pass the infection on to others. What are the signs and symptoms of trichomoniasis? About 70% of infected people do not have any signs or symptoms. When trichomoniasis does cause symptoms, they can range from mild irritation to severe inflammation. Some people with symptoms get them within 5 to 28 days after being infected. Others do not develop symptoms until much later. Symptoms can come and go. Men with trichomoniasis may notice: Itching or irritation inside the penis; Burning after urination or ejaculation; Discharge from the penis. Women with trichomoniasis may notice: Itching, burning, redness or soreness of the genitals; Discomfort with urination; A change in their vaginal discharge (i.e., thin discharge or increased volume) that can be clear, white, yellowish, or greenish with an unusual fishy smell. Having trichomoniasis can make it feel unpleasant to have sex. Without treatment, the infection can last for months or even years. What are the complications of trichomoniasis? Trichomoniasis can increase the risk of getting or spreading other sexually transmitted infections. For example, trichomoniasis can cause genital inflammation that makes it easier to get infected with HIV, or to pass the HIV virus on to a sex partner. How does trichomoniasis affect a pregnant woman and her baby? Pregnant women with trichomoniasis are more likely to have their babies too early (preterm delivery). Also, babies born to infected mothers are more likely to have a low birth weight (less than 5.5 pounds). How is trichomoniasis diagnosed? It is not possible to diagnose trichomoniasis based on symptoms alone. For both men and women, your health care provider can examine you and get a laboratory test to diagnose trichomoniasis. What is the treatment for trichomoniasis? Trichomoniasis can be treated with medication (either metronidazole or tinidazole). These pills are taken by mouth. It is safe for pregnant women to take this medication. It is not recommended to drink alcohol within 24 hours after taking this medication. People who have been treated for trichomoniasis can get it again. About 1 in 5 people get infected again within 3 months after receiving treatment. To avoid getting reinfected, make sure that all of your sex partners get treated. Also, wait 7- 10 days after you and your partner have been treated to have sex again. Get checked again if your symptoms come back. How can trichomoniasis be prevented? The only way to avoid STIs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting trichomoniasis: Be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and has negative STI test results; use latex condoms the right way every time you have sex. This can lower your chances of getting trichomoniasis. But the parasite can infect areas that are not covered by a condom – so condoms may not fully protect you from getting trichomoniasis. Another approach is to talk about the potential risk of STIs before you have sex with a new partner. That way you can make informed choices about the level of risk you are comfortable taking with your sex life. If you or someone you know has questions about trichomoniasis or any other STI, talk to a healthcare provider. < Previous Next > ​

Masturbation Masturbation is normal, and can be a healthy way to learn about your body. In fact, it’s the safest way to have sexual pleasure there is — there’s no risk of pregnancy or STIs. Is masturbating healthy? Masturbating is totally healthy, and totally normal. There are tons of myths out there meant to scare you into thinking masturbation is wrong or bad. But the truth is masturbation is perfectly safe. Masturbating won't make you blind, crazy, or stupid. It won’t damage your genitals, cause pimples, or stunt your growth. It doesn’t use up all your orgasms or ruin other kinds of sex. In fact, masturbation can actually be good for you. Here are some benefits of masturbation: Masturbation is safer than any other type of sex. You can’t get pregnant or get any sexually transmitted infections from masturbating. Masturbation can help you learn what you like and don’t like sexually. And if you decide to have sex with someone, you can know what you do/don’t want to do. BONUS: getting comfortable talking about sex and your body with your partner makes it easier to talk about protecting yourself against STIs and pregnancy, too. Exploring your body and learning how to give yourself sexual pleasure can be empowering and help improve your body image. Masturbation can lower stress and help you relax. It even helps some people fall asleep. Having an orgasm releases endorphins — feel good chemicals in your brain. Orgasms can be a natural painkiller and can even help with period cramps. Mutual masturbation (masturbating with a partner) is a really safe way to have sex and let the other person know what feels good to you. If you share a sex toy, use condoms on the toy and clean it before swapping. And if you touch each other’s genitals, wash your hands before touching your own. Can I get an STI from masturbating? Nope. Masturbating is the safest sexual activity out there. There is virtually NO chance of getting an STI or any other infection from touching your own genitals (and there’s also no chance of pregnancy). STIs have to be passed from one person to another, so you can’t give yourself an STD. The one exception to this is herpes - so if you have any cold sores on your mouth and touch them, make sure to wash your hands before masturbating. But it IS possible to get an STI if you’re masturbating with another person and touching each other’s genitals. Anytime semen (cum) or vaginal fluids are spread to someone else’s body, or your genitals rub against each other, there’s a risk of STIs. So if you touch each other’s genitals, wash your hands before touching your own. STIs can also be spread by sharing sex toys with another person. You can help protect yourself by using condoms on any toys that you share (even if they’re not shaped like a penis). Put a new condom on anytime a different person uses it. If you’re the only one using your sex toys, you don’t have to worry about STIs. But if you use them with other people, protect those sex toys just like you’d protect your own genitals — put a condom on ‘em! It’s possible for masturbation to cause irritation or infections if your body is sensitive to the way you masturbate or the things you masturbate with — but this isn’t the same thing as an STI. Lotions, Vaseline, oils, and scented or flavored stuff may irritate your vulva and vagina. Masturbating roughly and not using lubrication can also lead to irritation because of friction. And germs from the anus can cause vaginal infections — so never put something in your vagina that’s been in your butt without washing it or covering it with a condom. If you’re worried that you have an STI because of pain, itching, or discomfort in your genitals, go to your doctor or your local Planned Parenthood health center.

Planned Parenthood There are two ways of ending a pregnancy: in-clinic abortion and the abortion pill. Both are safe and very common. If you’re pregnant and thinking about abortion, you may have lots of questions. We’re here to help. Planned Parenthood Lilith Clinic When no one else would, or could, give women choice, we did. And now, more than 40 years later, we continue to help women – and men – make the best possible choices for their futures. Lilith Clinic Northwest Abortion Access Fund The Northwest Abortion Access Fund is an abortion fund serving Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and Alaska. We help people pay for their abortion care by sending funding directly to the clinic. We also help people get to and from the clinic. And we make sure people traveling for care have a safe place to stay. Northwest Abortion Access Fund

Sex Tool Communication Talking with your partner about condoms and birth control Talking with your partner about preventing STDs and unplanned pregnancy is one of the most important things you can do to protect your sexual health. Why do I need to talk about condoms and birth control? Talking about protecting your sexual health is an important part of being sexually active. It’s normal to feel nervous about bringing up condoms and birth control, but you can totally handle this. And imagine how much more difficult it would be to bring up your STD or unplanned pregnancy. If you have penis-in-vagina (vaginal) sex, it’s really important to use both a condom and another form of birth control (like the pill or the IUD). That way you’re protected from both pregnancy and STDs. So talk about both. If you have anal sex, you need to use a condom and lubricant. For oral sex, use a condom or a dental dam. Using all this stuff is sometimes called “safer sex,” since you’re lowering your risk of pregnancy and STDs. Talking about STDs is just as important as talking about preventing pregnancy. And just because you’re not having vaginal sex doesn’t mean you don’t have to talk - STDs are a possibility with any kind of sex. If you’re not sure what to say, practice beforehand. Then, choose a good time to talk (not in the heat of the moment). If your partner refuses to use protection, then they aren’t showing respect for you or your health. How do I talk about safer sex? DO Find a time when you’re relaxed and can focus. Use “I” statements — like, “I want us to protect each other,” instead of, “You need to get on birth control.” Remind them that safer sex benefits BOTH of you. Clearly state that you want to use protection if you’re going to have sex. No protection? No sex. Tell them that using protection will allow both of you to enjoy sex more, since neither of you will have to be worrying about STDs or unplanned pregnancy. Use positive language. For example: “I want to talk with you about this because I care about you.” Make sure the conversation is a 2-way street — so talk AND listen. Try to understand their point of view and ask questions. Work together to get the protection you need. This means talking about how to get the protection you need and who’s going to pay for it, both now and in the future. DON’T Start the conversation when you’re about to have sex — that can get awkward (or a problem if you don’t have the protection you need with you). Talk about it way before you have sex, so you can make sure you’re doing all you can for protection (like going to the doctor and getting a really effective birth control method if you’re having vaginal sex). Assume they don’t like condoms. Most people use condoms, so they’ve probably thought about it, too. Saying you’re into condoms might make them more comfortable saying that they are, too. Be judgmental, aggressive, or controlling. Assume that using condoms means they’re cheating on you. People use condoms because they care about themselves and each other.

What Are STIs? Sexually transmitted infections or STIs, are very common. Millions of new infections occur every year in the United States. STIs are passed from one person to another through sexual activity including vaginal, oral, and anal sex. They can also be passed from one person to another through intimate physical contact, such as heavy petting, though this is not very common. STIs don’t always cause symptoms or may only cause mild symptoms, so it is possible to have an infection and not know it. That is why it is important to get tested if you are having sex. If you are diagnosed with an STI, know that all can be treated with medicine and some can be cured entirely. STIs are preventable. If you have sex, know how to protect yourself and your sexual partner from STIs. The diseases, conditions, and infections below are listed in alphabetical order. Bacterial Vaginosis Any woman can get bacterial vaginosis. Having bacterial vaginosis can increase your chance of getting an STI. Chlamydia Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted disease (STI) that can be easily cured. If left untreated, chlamydia can make it difficult for a woman to get pregnant. Gonorrhea Anyone who is sexually active can get gonorrhea. Gonorrhea can cause very serious complications when not treated, but can be cured with the right medication. Hepatitis Viral hepatitis is the leading cause of liver cancer and the most common reason for liver transplantation. Herpes Genital herpes is a common STI, and most people with genital herpes infection do not know they have it. HIV/AIDS & STIs People who have STIs are more likely to get HIV, when compared to people who do not have STIs. Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Infection Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Some health effects caused by HPV can be prevented with vaccines. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) can lead to serious consequences including infertility. STIs & Infertility Chlamydia and gonorrhea are preventable causes of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility. STIs during Pregnancy For a healthier baby, ask your doctor about STI testing. Syphilis Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease (STI) that can have very serious complications when left untreated, but it is simple to cure with the right treatment. Trichomoniasis Most people who have trichomoniasis do not have any symptoms. Other STIs Chancroid, scabies, and more. Local Clinics

MSM Safer Sex Today, the modern gay and bisexual man has a variety of options to prevent HIV, none of which should come with fear or hesitation when it comes to his sex life. A lot has changed since 1983. Bangs are out, beards are in, and condoms are no longer the end-all when it comes to HIV prevention. Today, the modern gay and bisexual man has a variety of options to prevent HIV, none of which should come with fear or hesitation when it comes to his sex life. Unfortunately, the pitiful sex education provided to gay youth fails to mention a practical approach to gay sex. To make up for it, here is a quick and easy guide to selecting the safe-sex method that works for you. Condoms There haven’t been enough studies on the efficacy of condoms in anal sex, but in a nutshell, condoms are the easiest and cheapest way to prevent HIV. However, if condoms were all it took to prevent HIV, new infections wouldn’t be on the rise among young gay and bisexual men. The majority of gay men reported that they failed to wear condoms 100 percent of the time. Overall, attempted consistent condom use has been found to be 70 percent effective in preventing HIV infection. In other words, condoms work, but only if you use them. If you are someone who doesn’t always manage to slip on a rubber, condoms aren’t the fail-safe method you might have thought. Safe-Sex Suggestion: The standard condom was created for vaginal sex. Buying extra-strong condoms or anal condoms, decreases your risk of condom failure. Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) Although pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, for HIV prevention might not be as easy to use as condoms, that very well may be why it works better for you. PrEP requires you to take real action to ensure your sexual safety. The use of PrEP requires a prescription from your doctor for Truvada, the only drug so far approved for PrEP, and regular checkups to ensure your health and compliance. When taken daily, the drug is 99 percent effective in preventing the user from contracting HIV from a partner. Even if a user misses one or two doses per week, PrEP’s efficacy remains high. The key difference between PrEP and condoms is how it is administered. The PrEP drug is taken with your morning breakfast or right before you go to sleep. Although it directly impacts your sexual health, taking PrEP is separate from the sexual experience. Let’s face it; “forgetting” to wear a condom is not the same thing as forgetting to take a pill. Safe-Sex Suggestion: Set a reminder on your phone so that you never miss a dose. We all forget from time to time. Condoms + PrEP Even if you take PrEP religiously, it does not protect against other sexually transmitted. If you are unfamiliar with your sexual partner and wish to further protect yourself, the use of condoms and PrEP is your best bet. Treatment as Prevention Think of treatment as prevention, or TasP, as PrEP for HIV-positive people, but with the added benefit of keeping you alive and healthy. Of course, if you are living with HIV, there are numerous reasons for you to stay compliant with your medication, but its use as TasP is probably the most applicable to your everyday dating life. When you achieve an undetectable viral load through treatment, which is often just a pill a day, you reduce your risk or transmitting the virus by 96 percent. But don’t let that 4 percent risk trip you up. To date, there has never been a confirmed case of someone with an undetectable viral load transmitting HIV. Safe-Sex Suggestion: Stay on top of your health and use a pillbox. It is all about the pillbox. Condoms + TasP As with PrEP, combining condoms with TasP protects against other STIs as well as HIV. It may also place you or your sexual partner at ease if either of you are not yet comfortable with the science of TasP. The use of condoms in addition to TasP is 100 percent effective and leaves you worry-free. Safe-Sex Suggestion: If you or your partner is still nervous, check out Gay Sex Ed: A Guide to Worry-Free Anal Sex. Post-Exposure Prophylaxis Post-exposure prophylaxis, or PEP, is not a first-line effort to prevent HIV, but a secondary option if you believe you have been exposed to HIV and TasP, PrEP, or condoms weren’t involved. You can elect to take PEP up to 72 hours after exposure, although it is ideal to start within 24 hours. The treatment regimen usually involves two or three drugs over a 30-day period and will be monitored by your doctor. PEP reportedly reduces the chance of HIV infection by 83 percent but can often come with some unpleasant side effects such as vomiting, nausea and fatigue. Still, PEP is an excellent option if you believe you have been exposed to HIV and you run a risk of seroconversion (becoming HIV-positive). Safe-Sex Suggestion: Don’t wait until you are under stress. Talk to your doctor about PEP and PrEP before you find yourself in a precarious predicament. Sero-sorting Molly, you in danger, girl! Sero-sorting is the act of choosing your sexual partners based on their HIV status, and it is an outdated, antiquated, and ineffective way to prevent HIV. One in eight people living with HIV are unaware of that fact, and they account for one out of five new infections. A study presented at the 2012 Conference of Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections found that restricting sex to partners who you think are HIV-negative does not work as a prevention strategy. The problem is that many people are unaware they are HIV-positive, and they assert that they are HIV-negative.