Safer Sex “Safer sex” refers to anything we do to lower our risk — and our partners’ risk — of sexually transmitted infections. Some people call it “safe sex,” but this isn’t accurate — no type of sex with a partner can be guaranteed to be 100 percent safe. Many people with sexually transmitted infections experience no symptoms, so people are not always aware that they have them. And unintended pregnancy can happen — although rarely — with the best use of birth control. The most important way to reduce the risk of infection is for partners to avoid exchanging body fluids. The fluids to be most careful about are blood, ejaculate, pre-ejaculate, vaginal fluids, and the discharge from sores caused by sexually transmitted infections. It’s also important to avoid touching sores or growths that are caused by sexually transmitted infections. Here are a few examples of safer sex practices: using latex or internal condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse having oral sex instead of unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse using a latex condom to cover the penis for oral sex using a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus for oral sex practicing forms of outercourse such as kissing, mutual masturbation, or body rubbing with clothes on

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Father's Rights and Responsibilities There is a lot of advice out there for girls who find themselves facing an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy but there is very little information out there for guys. It takes two to make a baby but all too often when the pregnancy is announced the guy gets lost in the confusion. Teen fatherhood is not something to be taken lightly and along with responsibilities to the mother and the child; you have rights that you need to know about. What are your rights as a prospective father? First and foremost you have the right to know for sure that you are the father. This is not only a right you have but it is a right that the unborn child is entitled to as well. While everyone is mixed up in the emotionally charged circumstances surrounding an unwanted pregnancy it is often overlooked or downplayed that both father and child have a right to know the truth about paternity. Understandably a pregnant girl may be upset when the subject of DNA testing comes up but it is not something you should ever feel guilty about requesting. You are not calling her sexual conduct in to question by wanting to know for sure that you are the father. You are not suggesting that she is bad or a liar. You are simply exercising your right to know for sure that you are the father and this is important because fatherhood is a lifelong commitment. If you are the father you have the right to know your child and to participate in your child’s life. You have rights of custody and access. You also have responsibilities. You have the responsibility to financially and emotionally care for your child. You have a responsibility to be present in your child’s life and ensure that your child’s needs are met. You have the responsibility to ensure that your child is safe and well cared for and is free from harm. You have the responsibility to make decisions that are in the best interest of your child. More on rights and responsibilities later, first let’s look at the most important thing every prospective father needs to know about… how to know if they are really the father. How can you know if you are the father? There are two ways to determine if you are the father, blood type matching and DNA testing. Blood type matching is the cheapest and simplest test but it does not determine paternity it only tells you if it is possible that you are the father. If the blood types don’t match up there is no possible way you are the father and no other tests are needed. If the blood types do match up it only means that you could be the father and a DNA test will be needed to know for sure. In order to match blood types you need to know the answers to three questions; what is the father’s blood type, what is the mother’s blood type and what is the baby’s blood type? A baby’s blood type is determined by the blood types of its parents and it is an exact science as to what possible blood type a baby can have based on the types of the parents. It may sound confusing but it is really very simple. The blood type of the baby is determined by a combination of its’ parents' blood types. If the baby has a blood type that could not be the result of the combined blood types of both parents then the paternity is usually called in to question (since in natural conception maternity is never at issue). So what is the difference between a positive and a negative blood type match? Rh factor aside (which determines if the blood type is positive + or negative – and is not affected by paternity) a baby will have the same blood type as either its mother or its father or it will have a combined blood type based on the types of both parents. A negative blood type matching happens if a baby does not have the father’s or mother’s blood type or if the blood type that a baby does have is not a possible combination of the father’s and the mother’s. A positive blood type matching happens when a baby has the same blood type as the mother, the same blood type as the father or a blood type that is a combination of the parent’s blood types. The following chart shows which blood types are possible based on the combined types of the parents. Determining Paternity by Blood Type Remember in cases of natural conception if the blood types do not match it is because the wrong father has been identified. If the blood types do match up the next step that should be taken is a DNA test as blood type matches only suggest the possibility, not the certainty, that the right father has been identified. DNA testing is much more complicated and expensive but in the end, it is worth the investment and many private labs have payment programs available to make access to this test easier. Don’t feel bad about wanting a DNA test, as discussed earlier both father and a child have a right to know the truth. The most accurate DNA testing is done using samples from all three parties; mother, identified father and child, but testing can be done with only samples from the identified father and child. While it is possible to test DNA before a child is born this is much more costly and can pose a risk to the unborn child. For this reason, most DNA testing is done after the child is born. Should you get married? The question of marriage under these circumstances is a very personal one but it should not be entered into lightly. The pressure to marry when an unwanted pregnancy occurs can be overwhelming but there are important legal ramifications that potential fathers must be aware of. In North America, our system of law is based on British Common Law and under this legal structure a child born in wedlock (that is to parents who are legally married at the time of birth) is automatically presumed to belong to the husband. A legal father has the same rights and responsibilities as a biological father. If you marry a girl who claims you fathered her child and later find out that you are not the father it can be difficult and costly, not to mention emotionally devastating, to have your parental rights and responsibilities changed. It may be worth your while to consult with a lawyer near where you live before marrying under these circumstances in order to fully and properly understand the law on this matter where you live. What about adoption? Can I give up my baby for adoption even if the mother does not want to? No, you can’t force the other parent to give the child up for adoption. You may be able to give up your own parental rights however, depending on the laws where you live. A lawyer in your area can better advise you on the subject of giving up parental rights and obligations and if this is something you want you must seek legal advice. OK, I’m the father and I’m going to be involved, now what? If you and the mother can agree on a custody arrangement and on child support it can be as simple as signing an agreement and filing it with the family court in your area. This may or may not require a lawyer. When there is nothing being disputed by either parent then the matter of filing is relatively simple and any associated legal fees are usually minimal. If the two of you can’t agree then you will need a lawyer. As a father you have the right to know your child and to be a participant in his or her life. You also have the responsibility to support and care for your child and if you are the non-custodial parent you have the responsibility to pay child support. As touched on earlier you have the responsibility to ensure that your child is free from harm and is well cared for. If you believe that the mother is unable to care for your child or that your child is being harmed in her care then you have a responsibility to do something about it. On the other hand, if a mother believes that you may be bad for the child or put the child in harms way then she has a responsibility to do something about it. This usually involves going to court to stop or limit access. A lawyer will be needed and depending on where you live you may be able to get legal aid or assistance. Check with your local law society, Attorney General, or other public law office. Parenthood is not an easy thing and it should never be entered into lightly. No matter what the circumstances surrounding conception when you become a parent you are a parent for the rest of your life. Fathers are no less important than mothers and their obligations to their child are no less than those of a mother. Just because biology has made it that mothers carry the child in their body this does not mean that the mother is the most important parent. Both parents have important roles to play in the life of their child. While having a child while you’re still a kid yourself is less than ideal this does not make you any less a parent. Once you know a child is yours it changes your life forever no matter how old, or young, you are.

How To Be Supportive Accidentally getting a girl pregnant is probably the last thing you ever expected — or wanted — at this time in your life. However, here you are, reeling from the news that the woman you have slept with is pregnant with your baby. It does not matter whether this woman is your wife, a long-term girlfriend, a casual partner or even a one-night fling. As the father of her baby, you must take responsibility for your actions. Both of you made the adult decision to have sex with each other, and now you must face the consequences together. For many men, dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can seem like the end of their life as they know it. This doesn’t have to be the case. You and the woman you have impregnated with always have options for your unplanned pregnancy, but it’s important that you discuss this situation in detail before moving forward. If you’re asking, “She is pregnant — what do I do and how do I talk to her about it?” find some tips below for this important conversation. 1. Take a Deep Breath. People often wonder how to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. For men and women alike, it’s important to stay calm. An unplanned pregnancy is a frightening and overwhelming situation; you may be feeling angry at yourself and her, worried about your future, and completely unsure of what to do. Remember that you are in this journey together. Do not take your feelings out on each other; take a deep breath and try to approach this circumstance as a team. You may be reading this article after the expectant mother told you about her pregnancy — and you may be ashamed of how you acted. Rather than looking at the situation rationally, you may have jumped to emotional conclusions and said things you didn’t mean. Think about how your reaction may have affected her. She is probably just as frightened as you, and if you responded negatively, it likely didn’t help the circumstances. If this is the case, take responsibility for your actions, apologize and give yourselves another chance to discuss what to do about your unplanned pregnancy. 2. Don’t Make it All About You. When you first learn about accidentally getting a girl pregnant, your thoughts will first go to how this will affect your life: I need to get a job, I’m going to have to quit school, I’m going to have to cancel my traveling plans. While it’s perfectly normal to focus on how this pregnancy will affect you, remember that it will affect the expectant mother, too — even more so, as she is the one to physically experience the pregnancy. If you choose to focus on yourself, she will understandably feel abandoned and unimportant in this situation. This news of an unexpected pregnancy can be devastating, but remember that you are both affected by this situation — and you should approach it as a united front. 3. Ask Her How She’s Feeling. On the same note, taking the mother’s feelings into account can be done by simply starting with a simple question: How are you feeling? This question opens up the conversation for her to lead moving forward. It’s an empathetic query that allows her to express her complicated emotions, her initial thoughts and ask for your opinion, too. This will give you the chance to collect your own thoughts (as long as you listen to her answer at the same time!) and understand better where she is at in her decision process and what she desires from you as the man in her unplanned pregnancy. Starting with a non-judgmental, open-ended question will help inspire a positive conversation, rather than one that points blame at each other and results in no productive solutions. 4. Understand What Your Options Are. Whether a woman has indicated she has made a choice about her unplanned pregnancy or she is still deciding, it’s crucial that you understand your unplanned pregnancy options, too. Men dealing with unplanned pregnancy have just as much input in the decision as the woman but, keep in mind that because a woman will be the one carrying the child, she will have the ultimate decision. If you’re looking for unexpected pregnancy advice for men, consider these questions about each of your options moving forward: Parenting: Can you afford to raise a child? Are you ready to take on a new job or extra shifts to afford this new member of your family? Are you ready to put aside some of your personal dreams for the best interest of your child? Are you prepared to marry this woman? Or to co-parent this child without getting married? Are you willing to take parenting classes to learn more about raising a child? Abortion: Will you pitch in to help the mother afford the cost of an abortion? Will you be there to support the woman through her initial appointment and her abortion procedure? Adoption: Do you understand how adoption works today? Are you prepared to legally sign away your parental rights to your child? How involved do you want to be in the process: in helping to choose a family, having a relationship with your child as they grow up, supporting the mother through her pregnancy, etc.? Are you willing to speak with the expectant mother to an adoption counselor? Only after you fully understand your options can you have a productive conversation about what to do after accidentally getting a girl pregnant. 5. Create a Plan Together. It takes two to cause an unplanned pregnancy — and you two should both be involved in the situation moving forward. As tempting as it can be to walk away, it’s important that you man up, take responsibility for your actions and work with the expectant mother to create a plan that’s best for you both. You both should answer these questions: Where do you see yourself in five years? Will raising a baby interfere with those plans? Do you see this relationship lasting? Are you ready to commit to a long-term connection by having a baby together? What are your gut reactions to finding out about this unplanned pregnancy? What can you do to help each other through this process? It’s crucial you answer these questions and have an open conversation before creating a plan. That way, you can ensure that both your and the woman’s needs and wants are addressed — creating a more positive, cooperative path moving forward. It can be a difficult situation for men dealing with an unplanned pregnancy if the woman chooses a path they do not agree with. If this is your situation, honestly try to see the situation from her perspective. Explain why you would prefer she choose other paths — and offer up support. For example, if you are against abortion but do not wish to support her through her pregnancy or childbirth, you can see where she might not take your opinion into account. Remember this: The decision is ultimately up to the woman who will carry the pregnancy for nine months. It is your duty to support her, whatever she chooses. 6. Give Her the Support She Wants. Once a woman has made her choice, move forward by asking her what support she needs from you. Whether she wants you intimately involved in her abortion, adoption, pregnancy or parenting (or not), offer your support and respect her wishes. She may wish for you to be there during her doctor’s appointments or have you be involved in the adoption process. If she chooses to parent, she may want you to have a presence in your child’s life. Keep in mind, as a biological father, you will likely be legally required to pay child support if you do not wish to be involved in your child’s life. It can be difficult to overcome your personal wishes in an unplanned pregnancy, but take responsibility and be there to assist the expectant mother however you can. 7. Learn from Your Experience. Whatever else results from you accidentally getting a girl pregnant, you will learn life lessons. Take these to heart to avoid another concerning situation like this. Always use multiple forms of birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy, and maybe think more about the potential ramifications of sex before you engage in this action. We’re not here to encourage you to abandon all casual sex; just take more precautions before doing so. This experience may also teach you a bit about yourself and what you want in your life. Do you really wish to be a parent? When do you want to have a child? What do you want to accomplish before another pregnancy?

GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS Condoms do a good job of helping to prevent gonorrhea transmission. But they’re not 100%, and that’s because of how gonorrhea is spread. A gonorrhea infection is caused by the bacteria N. gonorrhoeae, which can infect the mucous surfaces of the urethra (in the penis), rectum (butt), cervix (connection between the vagina and uterus), and throat. Gonorrhea is spread by coming into contact with an infected body part. That means you can transmit gonorrhea even if there’s no semen or blood exchanged during sex. If you have gonorrhea in your penis and you touch your penis and then finger your partner’s butt, you can give your partner gonorrhea in in their butt, for instance. I’ve seen people who say, “I’m a top! How did I get gonorrhea in my butt?” Maybe their partner put their fingers in their butt, or they shared a sex toy. You can get a rectal gonorrhea infection even if you don’t bottom. The infection can even spread from your penis to your butt because they are so close to each other. You can get or give gonorrhea through mutual masturbation. There are a lot of ways it can spread. 30-39 previous nEXT

Mom Speaks 20 to 24 "I was 20 when I got pregnant. I wish I knew how hard it would be to juggle everything. It's tough to find a reliable babysitter so that I can work." — Holly, 24

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Teen Testimonial The real story of one young woman's journey through high school pregnancy and beyond... I guess you could say I was popular in high school—it was fun because I fit in. I was a cheerleader and I did color guard. I was very outgoing, not shy at all. I mean, I lived in a small town in Mississippi, so there wasn't much to do other than shop at the mall, but I also went to concerts all the time. I'm a big Dirks Bentley fan and when I went to one concert with my friends I got to meet him because I was in his fan club. I ended up crying, actually, so he came up to me and hugged me because I was that weird emotional girl. I've never been the type to party, and I never drank or did drugs or any of that. I was pretty much always at school every day until about 6PM for cheer practice, and then every Saturday until noon for color guard. School was so important to me. However, I did have a boyfriend. It was the classic high school romance: I was the cheerleader, and he played football, baseball, and basketball. He was the total cool kid. In the yearbook, he won "Most Popular" and "Most Handsome." And yeah, he was handsome! He was only 5'5", but he was muscular, and worked out all the time, and had curly, strawberry-blonde hair. I remember we met at a McDonald's. He just walked right up to my car, looking all cocky, and asked right away if I wanted his number. (And I did.) We spent a lot of time together—he used to either come watch me during cheerleading or call me right after practice. I watched him, too. He was #3 in football, and that number was everywhere, even on his white pickup truck. We rode around on his motorcycle and his four-wheeler a lot, or just went to the movies. We lived in Mississippi, you know? That's the kind of stuff you do. Neither of us worked, but we had each other. We were in our senior year, and our relationship was great. One Friday night over Christmas break, he got me some chicken for dinner, and it made me throw up. I told him that I was late, so we thought we should take a test. Finally, four positive results later, I realized that I was pregnant, and I just cried. And he cried. That night, I looked him in the eyes and made him promise me that, no matter what, he'd stay with me and we'd get through it together. He was all for it. I decided to tell my mom three or four days later. I was on my way to the color guard Christmas party, and I just sent her a text that said, "I'm late." She responded, "Is there any way you could be pregnant?" And then, I said, "I don't know." Finally, she told me she wasn't going to discuss anything more via text message, but I was too scared to face her alone, so I waited for my boyfriend to meet up with me. Then, she made me take another test, cried a little, and asked to be alone. After that, though, she was so supportive, and I'm lucky for that. My dad, though, was a different story. My mom asked me not to tell him until after Christmas so I wouldn't ruin the holiday. It was just so hard. When he first found out, he was in shock. We had a lot of hard conversations and played out a lot of scenarios. He kept telling me that I was giving up my college experience, that I would have to go to community college, and I'd never finish, so I should wait to have kids later in life when I could support them. I don't know what was going on with me, but at that point, I kind of felt like I was in love and I was going to have my happy family. It was naive, obviously, and I wasn't thinking clearly about how hard it was going to be. But I couldn't bring myself to ever think about having an abortion. The thing was, I wasn't on birth control and we weren't using condoms. We actually had this crazy thought that one of us was probably infertile because I never got pregnant. We were teenagers and we didn't know any better. We lived in the Bible Belt, so sexual education was completely optional in high school, and almost nobody took it. They just thought we should know better. We didn't. Before break was over, I told my two "best friends" that I was pregnant. One of them told her boyfriend who ended up telling his sister, and just like that, it spread everywhere. When I got back to school, the teachers looked down on me. It's a small town, so when one person found out, everyone did. It was just like The Scarlet Letter. As for the rest of my friends, it was a scene from a movie: I got pregnant, and they ran away. I only had two people who stuck by me, my friends Tyler and Holly. Actually, when I really think about it, my mom became my true best friend. I guess I just wasn't as fun when I was pregnant, maybe; I couldn't keep up with them, especially with their being seniors. Eventually, they all stopped calling. It was hard, emotionally, because I had to go through all of these physical changes and doctor's appointments, and they were out having fun. I felt like an outcast, which was not me at all. I was used to being one of them. Five months in, it became clear that I wasn't just putting on weight anymore, and that I was definitely pregnant. I was so swollen. I actually had tomia, and I gained 53 pounds' worth of fluid. The worst part of it all was, the more I started to show, the more my boyfriend would pull away. I couldn't really see it at the time, but slowly he would stop calling me after practice, and he eventually stopped coming over. One day, he called me up at school and asked me to come eat lunch with him. He took me to the McDonald's where we met, because all I ate during my pregnancy was chicken nuggets. And right there over our food, he said, "I think it'd be better for both of us if we took a break from each other for a while. We might get back tomorrow, you never know, I just think we should take a break." That was three days before prom. So, I didn't have a date to my senior prom and I was five months pregnant. Luckily, Tyler rented a tudo so I wouldn't have to go by myself. Prom was miserable because my feet and face were so swollen, but I guess I'm still happy I went. I got to show everybody that I wasn't ashamed of my baby and I wasn't going to give up my life just because I was pregnant. But, God, my feet hurt so much! My heels were cute, though…I remember that much. And then I graduated, six months pregnant, but with honors! I had even taken a college course. I was embarrassed because there were so many people watching me, but I was proud of myself for making it. Then, it was summer, and I could hardly move. I tried walking, but I didn't get very far. Finally, on August 1st, I had Tavin. By that point, I was so ready to get him out of me—I basically got off the elevator at the hospital and asked for the epidural right away. My whole family and my two best friends came and they stayed with me the whole time. He was born at 7:23 that night, weighing seven pounds, eleven ounces. The first thing out of my mouth when I saw him was, "I wasn't expecting a real baby!" I don't know what I was thinking, but here was this huge, living, breathing, beautiful creature lying on me. He had these chubby cheeks, huge lips, and my nose. He was so beautiful. A lot of moms get maternity leave, but I didn't want to fall behind, so I enrolled right away in nursing school and started two weeks after I had Tavin. My mom was a teacher, but she quit her job so I wouldn't have to pay for child care. My family supported me throughout all of that, and I graduated in 2013 when Tavin was two years old. I've been a pulmonary oncology nurse at a hospital ever since. I am so glad I didn't have to do it alone, and I'm so grateful my mom taught me everything from feeding him to changing his diaper. She's been my greatest support system throughout everything. Tavin has actually taught me, too. I never knew I could love somebody the way I love him. I thought I knew what love was before, but…I can't even explain it. My whole life revolves around him. I can't plan anything without making sure I have a tee-ball game organized, or something to do for his pre-school. I think of him before myself. I work crazy shifts at my job so I can be with him, but it's all so worth it. At the same time, though, I wish I would have known how hard it would be to go to school and have a baby at home. Even more, I wish I knew how hard it'd be for Tavin not to have a dad around. My ex-boyfriend hasn't seen him in months. He came to see him on Christmas, but that was the first time in two years. Tavin calls him by his first name, not dad. But, that's the norm: Guys don't have to carry the child or give birth, so they can just walk away. Girls don't have that option. But I wanted my baby, even after he left me. And that's how I learned my own strength. I discovered how wonderful it is to be a mom. I do wish I had him later on in life, and I do feel like it's my fault that his dad isn't here. But, we're doing just fine without him, and Tavin has my dad and my brother. I think sometimes about going even further in school, because I work at a teaching hospital with residents, and it makes me think about the future. I feel now that I've had this baby and become a nurse, so I can do anything. Hopefully, I'll find a nice guy to be a dad and help raise him, because he's a handful and super outgoing. He just loves people, and he recently became obsessed with The Avengers. And, of course, he loves Dierks Bentley because I've forced him to listen.

STI INFO What Are STIs? Sexually transmitted infections or STIs, are very common. Millions of new infections occur every year in the United States. STIs are passed from one person to another through sexual activity including vaginal, oral, and anal sex. They can also be passed from one person to another through intimate physical contact, such as heavy petting, though this is not very common. LEARN MORE What is an STI? STI stands for Sexually Transmitted Infection, which is a disease that is spread through sexual behavior like vaginal intercourse, oral sex, anal sex or sometimes intimate skin-to-skin contact. Some types of STIs are Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, HPV and HIV. Learn More How do I know if I have an STI? There is no way to know for sure without being tested. Many STIs don’t have obvious symptoms. Being sexually active can include vaginal intercourse, anal and/or oral sex. When doctors or nurses ask this ... Learn More What are the symptoms of STIs? Many STIs may have no symptoms at all or the signs are so mild that you may not notice. However, if you have any of the symptoms described below, you should seek care right away because they may be signs that you have an STI. Learn More Is there a cure for STIs? Some STIs are curable while others have no cure and if you get one of those, it may stay with you for the rest of your life. ​ ​ ​ Learn More STI QUESTIONS HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT STIS? Take a few minutes to find out how much you know sexually transmitted infections. This quick quiz will help you learn what you know, and what you need to learn, about STIs. LEARN MORE STI QUIZ Don't think it can happen to you? Spoiler....STI's are on the rise! SARAH STORY STI Transmission STIs are sexually transmitted diseases. This means they are most often -- but not exclusively -- spread by sexual intercourse. HIV, chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, some forms of hepatitis, syphilis, and trichomoniasis are STIs. Learn More STI TRANSMISSION common Stis Aside from colds and the flu, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are some of the most widespread infections in the world. STIs affect both men and women, and almost half of all STIs occur in people younger than 25 years old. Exposure to an STI can occur any time you have sexual contact with anyone that involves the genitals , the mouth (oral), or the rectum (anal). Exposure is more likely if you have more than one sex partner or do not use condoms. Some STIs can be passed by nonsexual contact, such as by sharing needles or during the delivery of a baby or during breastfeeding. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are also called sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). LEARN MORE COMMON STIS TESTING AND TREATMENT If you need to get tested for an STI or need more information regarding STIs we are here to help. Learn More TESTING AND TREATMENT STI Prevention Learn more about how you can prevent STIs and keep you and your partners safe. LEARN MORE STI PREVENTION STI Risk And Oral Sex Many sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) can be spread through oral sex. Using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex can reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI. LEARN MORE STI RISK AND ORAL SEX STIS IN THECOMUNITY Local date regarding STI prevalence in the community LEARN MORE STIS IN THE COMMUNTY

getting birth control Although the closest Planned Parenthood is in Eugene , there are several clinics in the area that offer similar services. It's easy, you can walk-in, make an appt or call to get more information. Below are links to local providers. Coos Health and Wellness Waterfall Community Health Center Waterfall School Based Health Center Coast Community Health Center