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- Healthy Relationship
Healthy Relationship What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? Many people are unsure of what to look for, or worse yet, they don't know all the positives that they truly deserve to have within a relationship. If someone grew up watching their parents or other family members act out chronically toxic patterns, then that person may very well come to define those patterns as "normal" and have difficulty understanding the baseline of what a good relationship looks like. With that in mind, here is a place to start. Healthy, functional relationships have these characteristics — which apply especially to committed romantic relationships. They shouldn't be optional. And when they are missing, it's important to address the problem. 1. Trust Trust is arguably among the most important relationship characteristics. Without trust, there is the lack of a solid foundation on which to build emotional intimacy, and your potential for hurt — over and over again — grows ever bigger. Without trust, you will be left constantly unsure of whether you can count on your partner to come through for you, and whether or not they really mean what they are saying. There are many ways to build and rebuild trust within a relationship, but if you are not on the path to doing so, your relationship is quite vulnerable to stress and uncertainty. 2. Communication Communicating honestly and respectfully, especially about things that are difficult, is something that does not come automatically to everyone. We may have learned to keep uncomfortable things under the surface for the sake of harmony or the appearance of perfection, or we also may have never even learned how to acknowledge difficult feelings to ourselves. Other challenges involve escalating a conflict into a full-out war: lacking the ability to not take things over-personally or lashing out when we feel threatened. It's okay if you have these tendencies; what's important is that you work on them, as strong and healthy communication is the lifeblood that nourishes good relationships. 3. Patience No one can be perfectly patient all the time, and factors like lack of sleep, stress, or physical health problems will make you more easily agitated at various points in your life — that's part of being human. But partners in a healthy, loving relationship extend each other a basic common denominator of patience that allows for peace, flexibility, and support when one person is having a bad day or is not at their best. When partners are chronically impatient with each other, they often create a dynamic of bean-counting and resentment, where they are mentally racking up the "offenses" that the other partner has committed. Being able to adjust to the ebbs and flows of a partner's moods in day-to-day life — within reason — can instead allow a feeling of being unconditionally loved. 4. Empathy Being willing to take another person's perspective is helpful in so many cases — whether in parenting, being a good neighbor, or even just letting someone merge in front of you on the highway. But it is arguably most important with the person you've chosen as a partner. Can you truly put forth the effort to try to understand their perspective, even when you disagree with it? Does their pain spur you to try to help them feel better? Do you feel happy about their triumphs? Empathy is crucial for long-term love. 5. Affection and Interest It likely goes without saying that love should be a part of any healthy, committed romantic relationship — in fact, I didn't bother to put that on the main list. But more subtle than love is the expression of that love in the form of affection and also a genuine interest — a liking of each other. Small physical gestures of affection, like hugs, kisses, and comforting touch, can go a long way to keeping each person feeling comforted and secure within their relationship. There is no one "right" amount of physical affection within a relationship — as long as both partners feel comfortable with how their needs match up. The same is true of physical intimacy. As for the "like" factor, this goes further than love — it means that you are truly interested in each other and fond of each other, and that you are together out of attraction (even if no longer the physical infatuation of the early days) rather than obligation. 6. Flexibility You've heard it before — relationships take compromise. And while some things don't allow for a perfect scenario on that front (you can't decide to have half a child, for instance), the key component that makes for good compromise is important no matter what: flexibility. It's important that both partners show flexibility in day-to-day life and decision-making, because if it is just one partner always doing the bending, that imbalance can grow toxic over time. In healthy relationships, both partners are willing to adjust as needed to the changes and growth — positive and negative — that may come about during a long-term relationship. And they are able to evaluate on a joint level, especially during conflicts, what matters most to each person within the relationship, and how that should be prioritized. Two partners who are never willing to bend to meet the other will be on separate paths altogether before long — a far cry from truly sharing a life together. 7. Appreciation The research about the importance of gratitude within relationships is striking; it makes us feel happier and more secure with our partners. And the more that we feel that gratitude, the more we feel appreciated for who we are within relationships, which also improves the relationship's well-being. Even small expressions of gratitude and appreciation can help improve relationship satisfaction. So the next time you think it doesn't matter whether you say "thank you" for something your partner did, think again. And perhaps consider the negative feelings all of us tend to have when we notice a lack of appreciation over time. 8. Room for Growth Relationships grow stale not just because a certain amount of time has elapsed, but because people feel stuck and unable to progress, either as individuals or as a couple. It is unrealistic — and downright unhealthy — to expect that two people will remain the exact same across months, years, and decades of a relationship. Hopes, fears, goals, and interests constantly evolve, and that is a very good thing. A relationship doesn't have to end or even suffer because of this, as long as both people allow each other the space to grow, by not pigeonholing each other into their younger selves, by trying to take an interest in learning what's important to the other person, and by not setting expectations that are inflexible. 9. Respect We often associate the concept of respect with people or concepts that are not intimate with each other: respecting one's elders, respecting symbols of religious faith, or respecting authority. But respect is every bit as important within a close partnership, if not more so. In healthy relationships, people talk to each other in ways that don't debase, invalidate, or belittle. They value each other's time and opinions like they value their own. They protect each other's privacy and don't use each other as the butt of jokes or as hired help to constantly clean up the apartment or make a thankless dinner. When respect begins to erode within a relationship, it is a long and painstaking road to build it back — the damage is far easier to do than undo. 10. Reciprocity In healthy partnerships, the tallying that early relationships show ("He picked me up at the airport last week, so I owe him a favor") fades into the background as a new, trusting equilibrium takes its place — you both just generally do for each other when needed. In an ideal situation, the give-and-take roughly works out to equal over time, and neither partner feels resentful. Of course, in many relationships, the give-and-take won't ever become equal (e.g., one partner needs long-term medical care, is naturally a more happily nurturing person, or struggles with a psychological disorder). And that can be okay, as long as both partners feel comfortable overall with the level of give-and-take as it exists, and they each find a way to give something to the relationship and their partners — especially in the form of emotional support — when they can. 11. Healthy Conflict Resolution Much research has pointed to the fact that the way a couple argues — or doesn't — can predict a lot about their relationship's success. We tend to have rose-colored glasses about romance in American culture. We are willing to entertain conflict in the beginning (the boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, then boy-gets-girl-back-and-lives-happily-ever-after trope common in so many popular films, for instance), but once a couple rides off into the sunset together, we expect that things should be a-okay from then on out. Ironically, couples that hide their upset with one another in order to preserve the illusion of everything being perfect are probably far worse off than the couples that express their emotions and work to resolve them as they come up, even when it causes conflict. In short, healthy relationships refrain from stonewalling and escalating into personal attacks when there is a difference of opinion or a problem. They are able to talk it through with respect, empathy, and understanding. 12. Individuality and Boundaries Two people who were exactly the same would probably not have much to talk about after a while; after all, they'd already know what the other's perspective would be, so why bother to listen to it? Of course, two people who are so different that they don't share each other's values or daily styles of living are bound to have too little in common to maintain an interest in each other (at best), or be downright incompatible, disliking each other from the start (at worst). The sweet spot is a relationship where the similarities create a foundation to connect with each other, but individual differences are still respected and valued. Moreover, it's important that each partner is given the freedom to still live their own life, especially in terms of friendships, professional goals, and hobbies. A strong, healthy relationship brings to mind a Venn diagram — there is adequate overlap to keep the connection strong, but each person has aspects of their lives that are theirs alone, and that boundary is respected by both parties. 13. Openness and Honesty Different partners have different levels of openness within their relationships — some might be horrified at leaving the bathroom door open, for instance, whereas others will discuss the most intimate of physical details with each other without giving it a second thought. So too is the case with openness about hopes, dreams, and even the details of one's workday. But no matter where you fall on the spectrum of letting it all hang out, it's important that there is a solid match — and that honesty underlies whatever disclosures you do make. Partners who mask their true selves, hide their emotional realities or actively deceive their partners about their habits and behaviors are jeopardizing the fundamental foundation of trust that every relationship needs. THE SAFE PROJECT The SAFE Project provides emergency services and advocacy to survivors of domestic and sexual violence. *24-Hour Crisis Line *Emergency Shelter *Crisis Response Team *Assistance to clients who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual assault Call NOW
- STI Risk And Oral Sex | The Sex Talk
Sti risk and oral sex STI Risk And Oral Sex Many sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) can be spread through oral sex. Using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex can reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI. LEARN MORE
- Pregnancy | The Sex Talk
things to think about Women who decide to become pregnant and have a child, rather than having it “just happen,” are better prepared emotionally and financially for the demands of having a baby. But they can’t make that decision if they lack information and access to contraception. As a result, about 80 percent of pregnancies among young women age 18 to 29 are described by the women themselves as unplanned. LEARN MORE Am I Pregnant? Take the Quiz...
- Local Resources And More | The Sex Talk
EVEN MORE RESOURCES AND INFORMATION COOS RESOURCES WOMEN'S EMPOWERMENT SOCIAL MEDIA RESOURCES BLOG GET YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED EVENTS CALENDAR TRANSPORTATION CONFIDENTIALITY AND INSURANCE DISCLAIMER AND PRIVACY POLICY
- Resources For LGBTQIA+ | The Sex Talk
RESOURCES FOR LGBTQIA+ RESOURCES FOR LGBTQIA+ Q&A Coos County Events Calendar Vocabulary Coos Health Resources GLAAD Resources PFLAG Resources Trans Women's Safer Sex Guide more websites Find More Safer Sex Resources Here General Info General Info MSM Safer Sex Trans Safer Sex How to Choose A Lube
- 10 to 14
Teen Mom Speaks 10 to 14 "I got pregnant at 13 and had my baby at 14. I wish I had known how insanely hard it would be. Forget the screaming baby and the poop running up their back while you're trying to rinse spit-up out of your freshly curled hair. It's the amount of stress, the lack of support, and the stereotypes that comes with being a teen mom and trying to prove people wrong. Nobody wanted the mom with a baby at their slumber party." — Jennifer, 23
- Hepatitis C
Hepatitis C HCV infection is the most common chronic bloodborne infection in the United States, with an estimated 2.7 million persons living with chronic infection. Hepatitis C Most people who get infected with the Hepatitis C virus develop a chronic, or lifelong, infection. What is Hepatitis C? Hepatitis C is an infection of the liver that results from the Hepatitis C virus. Acute Hepatitis C refers to the first several months after someone is infected. Acute infection can range in severity from a very mild illness with few or no symptoms to a serious condition requiring hospitalization. For reasons that are not known, about 20% of people are able to clear, or get rid of, the virus without treatment in the first 6 months. Unfortunately, most people who get infected are not able to clear the Hepatitis C virus and develop a chronic, or lifelong, infection. Over time, chronic Hepatitis C can cause serious health problems including liver disease, liver failure, and even liver cancer. How is Hepatitis C spread? Hepatitis C is usually spread when blood from a person infected with the Hepatitis C virus enters the body of someone who is not infected. Today, most people become infected with Hepatitis C by sharing needles, syringes, or any other equipment to inject drugs. Before widespread screening of the blood supply in 1992, Hepatitis C was also spread through blood transfusions and organ transplants. While uncommon, poor infection control has resulted in outbreaks in healthcare settings. While rare, sexual transmission of Hepatitis C is possible. Having a sexually transmitted disease or HIV, sex with multiple partners, or rough sex appears to increase a person’s risk for Hepatitis C. Hepatitis C can also be spread when getting tattoos and body piercings in unlicensed facilities, informal settings, or with non-sterile instruments. Also, approximately 6% of infants born to infected mothers will get Hepatitis C. Still, some people don’t know how or when they got infected. What are the symptoms of Hepatitis C? Many people with Hepatitis C do not have symptoms and do not know they are infected. If symptoms occur, they can include: fever, feeling tired, not wanting to eat, upset stomach, throwing up, dark urine, grey-colored stool, joint pain, and yellow skin and eyes. When do symptoms occur? If symptoms occur with acute infection, they can appear anytime from 2 weeks to 6 months after infection. If symptoms occur with chronic Hepatitis C, they can take decades to develop. When symptoms appear with chronic Hepatitis C, they often are a sign of advanced liver disease. How would you know if you have Hepatitis C? The only way to know if you have Hepatitis C is to get tested. Doctors use a blood test, called a Hepatitis C Antibody Test, which looks for antibodies to the Hepatitis C virus. Antibodies are chemicals released into the bloodstream when someone gets infected. Antibodies remain in the bloodstream, even if the person clears the virus. A positive or reactive Hepatitis C Antibody Test means that a person has been infected with the Hepatitis C virus at some point in time. However, a positive antibody test does not necessarily mean a person still has Hepatitis C. An additional test called a RNA test is needed to determine if a person is currently infected with Hepatitis C. Who should get tested for Hepatitis C? Testing for Hepatitis C is recommended for certain groups, including people who: • Were born from 1945 – 1965 • Received donated blood or organs before 1992 • Have ever injected drugs, even if it was just once or many years ago • Have certain medical conditions, such as chronic liver disease and HIV or AIDS • Have abnormal liver tests or liver disease • Have been exposed to blood from a person who has Hepatitis C • Are on hemodialysis • Are born to a mother with Hepatitis C Can Hepatitis C be treated? Yes. However, treatment depends on many different factors, so it is important to see a doctor experienced in treating Hepatitis C. New and improved treatments are available that can cure Hepatitis C for many people. Testing is the only way to know if you have Hepatitis C. How can Hepatitis C be prevented? Although there is currently no vaccine to prevent Hepatitis C, there are ways to reduce the risk of becoming infected with the Hepatitis C virus. • Avoid sharing or reusing needles, syringes or any other equipment to prepare and inject drugs, steroids, hormones, or other substances. • Do not use personal items that may have come into contact with an infected person’s blood, even in amounts too small to see, such as razors, nail clippers, toothbrushes, or glucose monitors. • Do not get tattoos or body piercings from an unlicensed facility or in an informal setting. < Previous Next >
- Hepatitis B
Hepatitis B Hepatitis B can be a serious liver disease that results from infection with the Hepatitis B virus. What is hepatitis? “Hepatitis” means inflammation of the liver. The liver is a vital organ that processes nutrients, filters the blood, and fights infections. When the liver is inflamed or damaged, its function can be affected. Heavy alcohol use, toxins, some medications, and certain medical conditions can cause hepatitis. However, hepatitis is most often caused by a virus. In the United States, the most common types of viral hepatitis are Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C. The only way to know if you have Hepatitis B is to get tested. What is Hepatitis B? Hepatitis B can be a serious liver disease that results from infection with the Hepatitis B virus. Acute Hepatitis B refers to a short-term infection that occurs within the first 6 months after someone is infected with the virus. The infection can range in severity from a mild illness with few or no symptoms to a serious condition requiring hospitalization. Some people, especially adults, are able to clear, or get rid of, the virus without treatment. People who clear the virus become immune and cannot get infected with the Hepatitis B virus again. Chronic Hepatitis B refers to a lifelong infection with the Hepatitis B virus. The likelihood that a person develops a chronic infection depends on the age at which someone becomes infected. Up to 90% of infants infected with the Hepatitis B virus will develop a chronic infection. In contrast, about 5% of adults will develop chronic Hepatitis B. Over time, chronic Hepatitis B can cause serious health problems, including liver damage, cirrhosis, liver cancer, and even death. How is Hepatitis B spread? The Hepatitis B virus is spread when blood, semen, or other body fluids from an infected person enters the body of someone who is not infected. The virus can be spread through: • Sex with an infected person. Among adults, Hepatitis B is often spread through sexual contact. • Injection drug use. Sharing needles, syringes, and any other equipment to inject drugs with someone infected with Hepatitis B can spread the virus. • Outbreaks. While uncommon, poor infection control has resulted in outbreaks of Hepatitis B in healthcare settings. • Birth. Hepatitis B can be passed from an infected mother to her baby at birth. Worldwide, most people with Hepatitis B were infected with the virus as an infant. Hepatitis B is not spread through breastfeeding, sharing eating utensils, hugging, kissing, holding hands, coughing, or sneezing. Unlike some forms of hepatitis, Hepatitis B is also not spread by contaminated food or water. What are the symptoms of Hepatitis B? Many people with Hepatitis B do not have symptoms and do not know they are infected. If symptoms occur, they can include: fever, feeling tired, not wanting to eat, upset stomach, throwing up, dark urine, grey-colored stool, joint pain, and yellow skin and eyes. When do symptoms occur? If symptoms occur with an acute infection, they usually appear within 3 months of exposure and can last up to 6 months. If symptoms occur with chronic Hepatitis B, they can take years to develop and can be a sign of advanced liver disease. How would you know if you have Hepatitis B? The only way to know if you have Hepatitis B is to get tested. Blood tests can determine if a person has been infected and cleared the virus, is currently infected, or has never been infected. Who should get tested for Hepatitis B and why? CDC develops recommendations for testing based upon a variety of different factors. Here is a list of people who should get tested. The results will help determine the next best steps for vaccination or medical care. All pregnant women are routinely tested for Hepatitis B. If a woman has Hepatitis B, timely vaccination can help prevent the spread of the virus to her baby. Household and sexual contacts of people with Hepatitis B are at risk for getting Hepatitis B. Those who have never had Hepatitis B can benefit from vaccination. People born in certain parts of the world that have increased rates of Hepatitis B. Testing helps identify those who are infected so that they can receive timely medical care. People with certain medical conditions should be tested, and get vaccinated if needed. This includes people with HIV infection, people who receive chemotherapy and people on hemodialysis. People who inject drugs are at increased risk for Hepatitis B but testing can tell if someone is infected or could benefit from vaccination to prevent getting infected with the virus. Men who have sex with men have higher rates of Hepatitis B. Testing can identify unknown infections or let a person know that they can benefit from vaccination. How is Hepatitis B treated? For those with acute Hepatitis B, doctors usually recommend rest, adequate nutrition, fluids, and close medical monitoring. Some people may need to be hospitalized. People living with chronic Hepatitis B should be evaluated for liver problems and monitored on a regular basis. Treatments are available that can slow down or prevent the effects of liver disease. Can Hepatitis B be prevented? Yes. The best way to prevent Hepatitis B is by getting vaccinated. The Hepatitis B vaccine is typically given as a series of 3 shots over a period of 6 months. The entire series is needed for long-term protection. Who should get vaccinated against Hepatitis B? All infants are routinely vaccinated for Hepatitis B at birth, which has led to dramatic declines of new Hepatitis B cases in the US and many parts of the world. The vaccine is also recommended for people living with someone infected with Hepatitis B, travelers to certain countries, and healthcare and public safety workers exposed to blood. People with high-risk sexual behaviors, men who have sex with men, people who inject drugs, and people who have certain medical conditions, including diabetes, should talk to their doctor about getting vaccinated. < Previous Next >
- Teen Testimonial
Teen Testimonial The real story of one young woman's journey through high school pregnancy and beyond... I guess you could say I was popular in high school—it was fun because I fit in. I was a cheerleader and I did color guard. I was very outgoing, not shy at all. I mean, I lived in a small town in Mississippi, so there wasn't much to do other than shop at the mall, but I also went to concerts all the time. I'm a big Dirks Bentley fan and when I went to one concert with my friends I got to meet him because I was in his fan club. I ended up crying, actually, so he came up to me and hugged me because I was that weird emotional girl. I've never been the type to party, and I never drank or did drugs or any of that. I was pretty much always at school every day until about 6PM for cheer practice, and then every Saturday until noon for color guard. School was so important to me. However, I did have a boyfriend. It was the classic high school romance: I was the cheerleader, and he played football, baseball, and basketball. He was the total cool kid. In the yearbook, he won "Most Popular" and "Most Handsome." And yeah, he was handsome! He was only 5'5", but he was muscular, and worked out all the time, and had curly, strawberry-blonde hair. I remember we met at a McDonald's. He just walked right up to my car, looking all cocky, and asked right away if I wanted his number. (And I did.) We spent a lot of time together—he used to either come watch me during cheerleading or call me right after practice. I watched him, too. He was #3 in football, and that number was everywhere, even on his white pickup truck. We rode around on his motorcycle and his four-wheeler a lot, or just went to the movies. We lived in Mississippi, you know? That's the kind of stuff you do. Neither of us worked, but we had each other. We were in our senior year, and our relationship was great. One Friday night over Christmas break, he got me some chicken for dinner, and it made me throw up. I told him that I was late, so we thought we should take a test. Finally, four positive results later, I realized that I was pregnant, and I just cried. And he cried. That night, I looked him in the eyes and made him promise me that, no matter what, he'd stay with me and we'd get through it together. He was all for it. I decided to tell my mom three or four days later. I was on my way to the color guard Christmas party, and I just sent her a text that said, "I'm late." She responded, "Is there any way you could be pregnant?" And then, I said, "I don't know." Finally, she told me she wasn't going to discuss anything more via text message, but I was too scared to face her alone, so I waited for my boyfriend to meet up with me. Then, she made me take another test, cried a little, and asked to be alone. After that, though, she was so supportive, and I'm lucky for that. My dad, though, was a different story. My mom asked me not to tell him until after Christmas so I wouldn't ruin the holiday. It was just so hard. When he first found out, he was in shock. We had a lot of hard conversations and played out a lot of scenarios. He kept telling me that I was giving up my college experience, that I would have to go to community college, and I'd never finish, so I should wait to have kids later in life when I could support them. I don't know what was going on with me, but at that point, I kind of felt like I was in love and I was going to have my happy family. It was naive, obviously, and I wasn't thinking clearly about how hard it was going to be. But I couldn't bring myself to ever think about having an abortion. The thing was, I wasn't on birth control and we weren't using condoms. We actually had this crazy thought that one of us was probably infertile because I never got pregnant. We were teenagers and we didn't know any better. We lived in the Bible Belt, so sexual education was completely optional in high school, and almost nobody took it. They just thought we should know better. We didn't. Before break was over, I told my two "best friends" that I was pregnant. One of them told her boyfriend who ended up telling his sister, and just like that, it spread everywhere. When I got back to school, the teachers looked down on me. It's a small town, so when one person found out, everyone did. It was just like The Scarlet Letter. As for the rest of my friends, it was a scene from a movie: I got pregnant, and they ran away. I only had two people who stuck by me, my friends Tyler and Holly. Actually, when I really think about it, my mom became my true best friend. I guess I just wasn't as fun when I was pregnant, maybe; I couldn't keep up with them, especially with their being seniors. Eventually, they all stopped calling. It was hard, emotionally, because I had to go through all of these physical changes and doctor's appointments, and they were out having fun. I felt like an outcast, which was not me at all. I was used to being one of them. Five months in, it became clear that I wasn't just putting on weight anymore, and that I was definitely pregnant. I was so swollen. I actually had tomia, and I gained 53 pounds' worth of fluid. The worst part of it all was, the more I started to show, the more my boyfriend would pull away. I couldn't really see it at the time, but slowly he would stop calling me after practice, and he eventually stopped coming over. One day, he called me up at school and asked me to come eat lunch with him. He took me to the McDonald's where we met, because all I ate during my pregnancy was chicken nuggets. And right there over our food, he said, "I think it'd be better for both of us if we took a break from each other for a while. We might get back tomorrow, you never know, I just think we should take a break." That was three days before prom. So, I didn't have a date to my senior prom and I was five months pregnant. Luckily, Tyler rented a tudo so I wouldn't have to go by myself. Prom was miserable because my feet and face were so swollen, but I guess I'm still happy I went. I got to show everybody that I wasn't ashamed of my baby and I wasn't going to give up my life just because I was pregnant. But, God, my feet hurt so much! My heels were cute, though…I remember that much. And then I graduated, six months pregnant, but with honors! I had even taken a college course. I was embarrassed because there were so many people watching me, but I was proud of myself for making it. Then, it was summer, and I could hardly move. I tried walking, but I didn't get very far. Finally, on August 1st, I had Tavin. By that point, I was so ready to get him out of me—I basically got off the elevator at the hospital and asked for the epidural right away. My whole family and my two best friends came and they stayed with me the whole time. He was born at 7:23 that night, weighing seven pounds, eleven ounces. The first thing out of my mouth when I saw him was, "I wasn't expecting a real baby!" I don't know what I was thinking, but here was this huge, living, breathing, beautiful creature lying on me. He had these chubby cheeks, huge lips, and my nose. He was so beautiful. A lot of moms get maternity leave, but I didn't want to fall behind, so I enrolled right away in nursing school and started two weeks after I had Tavin. My mom was a teacher, but she quit her job so I wouldn't have to pay for child care. My family supported me throughout all of that, and I graduated in 2013 when Tavin was two years old. I've been a pulmonary oncology nurse at a hospital ever since. I am so glad I didn't have to do it alone, and I'm so grateful my mom taught me everything from feeding him to changing his diaper. She's been my greatest support system throughout everything. Tavin has actually taught me, too. I never knew I could love somebody the way I love him. I thought I knew what love was before, but…I can't even explain it. My whole life revolves around him. I can't plan anything without making sure I have a tee-ball game organized, or something to do for his pre-school. I think of him before myself. I work crazy shifts at my job so I can be with him, but it's all so worth it. At the same time, though, I wish I would have known how hard it would be to go to school and have a baby at home. Even more, I wish I knew how hard it'd be for Tavin not to have a dad around. My ex-boyfriend hasn't seen him in months. He came to see him on Christmas, but that was the first time in two years. Tavin calls him by his first name, not dad. But, that's the norm: Guys don't have to carry the child or give birth, so they can just walk away. Girls don't have that option. But I wanted my baby, even after he left me. And that's how I learned my own strength. I discovered how wonderful it is to be a mom. I do wish I had him later on in life, and I do feel like it's my fault that his dad isn't here. But, we're doing just fine without him, and Tavin has my dad and my brother. I think sometimes about going even further in school, because I work at a teaching hospital with residents, and it makes me think about the future. I feel now that I've had this baby and become a nurse, so I can do anything. Hopefully, I'll find a nice guy to be a dad and help raise him, because he's a handful and super outgoing. He just loves people, and he recently became obsessed with The Avengers. And, of course, he loves Dierks Bentley because I've forced him to listen.
- Chlamydia
Chlamydia Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can be easily cured. If left untreated, chlamydia can make it difficult for a woman to get pregnant. What is chlamydia? Chlamydia is a common STI that can infect both men and women. It can cause serious, permanent damage to a woman’s reproductive system. This can make it difficult or impossible for her to get pregnant later on. Chlamydia can also cause a potentially fatal ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy that occurs outside the womb). How is chlamydia spread? You can get chlamydia by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has chlamydia. If your sex partner is male you can still get chlamydia even if he does not ejaculate (cum). If you’ve had chlamydia and were treated in the past, you can still get infected again. This can happen if you have unprotected sex with someone who has chlamydia. If you are pregnant, you can give chlamydia to your baby during childbirth. How can I reduce my risk of getting chlamydia? The only way to avoid STDs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting chlamydia: Be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and has negative STD test results; Use latex condoms the right way every time you have sex. Am I at risk for chlamydia? Anyone who has sex can get chlamydia through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex. However, sexually active young people are at a higher risk of getting chlamydia. This is due to behaviors and biological factors common among young people. Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are also at risk since chlamydia can spread through oral and anal sex. Have an honest and open talk with your healthcare provider. Ask whether you should be tested for chlamydia or other STIs. If you are a sexually active woman younger than 25 years, you should get a test for chlamydia every year. If you are an older woman with risk factors such as new or multiple sex partners, or a sex partner who has an STI, you should get a test for chlamydia every year. Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men; as well as pregnant women should also get tested for chlamydia. I’m pregnant. How does chlamydia affect my baby? If you are pregnant and have chlamydia, you can pass the infection to your baby during delivery. This could cause an eye infection or pneumonia in your newborn. Having chlamydia may also make it more likely to deliver your baby too early. If you are pregnant, you should get tested for chlamydia at your first prenatal visit. Testing and treatment are the best ways to prevent health problems. How do I know if I have chlamydia? Most people who have chlamydia have no symptoms. If you do have symptoms, they may not appear until several weeks after you have sex with an infected partner. Even when chlamydia causes no symptoms, it can damage your reproductive system. Women with symptoms may notice An abnormal vaginal discharge; A burning sensation when urinating. Symptoms in men can include A discharge from their penis; A burning sensation when urinating; Pain and swelling in one or both testicles (although this is less common). Men and women can also get infected with chlamydia in their rectum. This happens either by having receptive anal sex, or by spread from another infected site (such as the vagina). While these infections often cause no symptoms, they can cause rectal pain; discharge and bleeding. You should be examined by your doctor if you notice any of these symptoms or if your partner has an STI or symptoms of an STI. STI symptoms can include an unusual sore, a smelly discharge, burning when urinating, or bleeding between periods. I was just diagnosed. What do I do now? How will my doctor know if I have chlamydia? Laboratory tests can diagnose chlamydia. Your health care provider may ask you to provide a urine sample or may use (or ask you to use) a cotton swab to get a sample from your vagina to test for chlamydia. Can chlamydia be cured? Yes, chlamydia can be cured with the right treatment. It is important that you take all of the medication your doctor prescribes to cure your infection. When taken properly it will stop the infection and could decrease your chances of having complications later on. You should not share medication for chlamydia with anyone. Repeat infection with chlamydia is common. You should be tested again about three months after you are treated, even if your sex partner(s) was treated. I was treated for chlamydia. When can I have sex again? You should not have sex again until you and your sex partner(s) have completed treatment. If your doctor prescribes a single dose of medication, you should wait seven days after taking the medicine before having sex. If your doctor prescribes a medicine for you to take for seven days, you should wait until you have taken all of the doses before having sex. What happens if I don’t get treated? The initial damage that chlamydia causes often goes unnoticed. However, chlamydia can lead to serious health problems. If you are a woman, untreated chlamydia can spread to your uterus and fallopian tubes (tubes that carry fertilized eggs from the ovaries to the uterus). This can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID often has no symptoms, however some women may have abdominal and pelvic pain. Even if it doesn’t cause symptoms initially, PID can cause permanent damage to your reproductive system. PID can lead to long-term pelvic pain, inability to get pregnant, and potentially deadly ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy outside the uterus). Men rarely have health problems linked to chlamydia. Infection sometimes spreads to the tube that carries sperm from the testicles, causing pain and fever. Rarely, chlamydia can prevent a man from being able to have children. Untreated chlamydia may also increase your chances of getting or giving HIV – the virus that causes AIDS. < Previous Next >
- 20-29
GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS I’m an odd case and I’ve learned to be okay with it. I grew up in the church and I followed the rules almost to a T. No drugs, no sex, no nothing. By the age of 25 I had fooled around with some girls, and had a girlfriend of two years that I never had intercourse with. I was dedicated to college and the church, but that didn’t necessarily translate into success in bed. After building up confidence and learning how to date outside the church it became easier and easier. I hooked up with a girl a couple months ago and finally lost my actual virginity at the age of 27, and while the sex wasn’t great we made the right choice and used a condom both times. My second partner was someone I’d already known for months, worked in healthcare, and seemed to be very up on her medical stuff. We got caught up in the heat of the moment, I had run out of condoms because I was too embarrassed to buy more at my neighborhood store, and before we knew it we were having a lot of unprotected sex. The funny thing was that she asked me if I’d been tested for STIs, not knowing I wasn’t very sexually active. Things didn’t work out between us and within a week I started to notice something wrong and got tested. Even if you trust the person you’re having sex with, even if it’s someone that works in healthcare, and even if you think the odds are in your favor, it’s always best to protect yourself from STIs. Always use a condom – there are various ways to prevent kids but not all of them prevent STIs. STIs can hurt a lot, and waiting for the results to come back are going to be some of the longest days of your life. Anyone can get or have an STI. You may hear all kinds of stories of people winging it, but this is some fire you don’t want to play with. 20-29 previous nEXT
- 10-19
GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS Well, it all started when I was 15. I had reunited with my first love at that age. Yes I know, it was a bit early. I really loved this guy and the more time I spent with him, the closer I got to him, and I trusted him even more. He kept pressuring me to show him I love him by letting him "make love" to me. This statement never worked on me though, because I paid attention in too many health classes at school. Finally, I began to relive just how much I desired to feel what it was like. Although I wanted to keep my promise of saving myself to my mother, I wanted to know. At first him and I did a lot of just touching and kissing and intimate things like that. I figured I was going to be with him forever so I decided to let him "make love" to me. He put on the condom and many thoughts raced my mind on that August afternoon. It was a little difficult to get it inside but just as he was getting closer, I stopped him. At that point I didn't know whether or not I had already lost it or not, so I let him continue and I lost it. I had so many feelings… I was happy, sad, and felt really guilty. Since then him and I did it every time I saw him. After, that’s all our relationship developed into, and I broke up with him. I've had sex with 3 other guys after him in lengthy relationships. Now I am in love again, and my boyfriend and I went to get tested. We both were diagnosed with Gonorrhea and treated for it the next week. Now I am afraid and I want to get tested for HIV. I don't think that I have HIV, but I also didn't think I had Gonorrhea. I am now 18 and regret losing my virginity. You don't have to be promiscuous to contract an STI. It only takes one time. So if anyone considers having sex I'm not against it because it's a wonderful thing, but I would just advise that they use condoms no matter how much they know someone and trust them. Remember that same person probably trusted their previous loved ones and would have never suspected that they ever had a disease. So please, be safe and "wrap it up"...really. 10-19 previous nEXT